I used to have a German Shepherd. I was buying a large bag of Purina at the store and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Dah!
On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive-care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet; and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital because I'd been poisoned.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.